Hey everybody....sorry, I turn to my blog as recently there's just so many things going through my head. Yes, my father in heaven understands, but I thought it would be better too if I write them down here and just try to express my thoughts and feelings out. Hopfully I'll feel better there after. Sigh, exams are over, but yet, it did not end it the way I've wanted it...One of my friend had a brain tumour...went throught 3 operations...I've visited her twice in the hospital. So far, I heard that she's recovering well. Really thank God for the miracle that He's shown towards her and her family.
I've (as usual) started thinking about Australia again...yeah...papa and mummy are in the middle of getting the house design plan out...the rooms....the kitchen....the tiles...the outside....so many opinions, so many visits to our property agent. Everytime they come back, there'll be new plans, updates....things are slowly taking shape. I've emailed UWA regarding my postgraduate studies after my thrid year...still waiting for them to reply...have been praying about it.
Papa and I will take a short trip down to Perth next month to check out our house area (Brighton, Butler). We're suppose to take a look around the area, the shopping malls, the buses, the neighbourhood etc. Papa wants me to stop by UWA to enquire more about monkey's application next year....I'm eyeing on a particular church already...first time experiencing winter in Australia...
Trying to understand other people's pain, emotions... life...etc...Heard another news about one of my darlings' mum....All I can do is pray and believe God in everything, that He is in control...
Hoping to spend my vacation volunteering in an Autistic Agency called Autism Partnership....really want to gain more experience working with children...also to spend a meaningful summer holiday...
Jo's wedding! Awesome and exciting, so looking forward to the big day! Want to help up (esp my given task) to the best of my ability to make this day an extra special one for Jo and Louis!
Mummy wants me to learn driving....should I...I understand her point of view...I can't always depend on my papa, he's getting older, and no one else could drive...isit it high time that one of us learn too?
I've also been thinking alot lately about how I think, my thoughts about life, people, the way I make decisions, the way I allow my emotions to take over me...why do I think like that...why do I feel like that? I've always been a people's person, but I've never realised it to such an extent until recently...Am I getting too caught up with emotions in general...my mummy always says that I cannot allow myself to be consumed by my own emotions, especially if I want to help others...if I'm too caught up with my emotions then it'll be a loose-loose situation....
Jia Yee has changed throughout the years....I used to be a rather quiet girl....isit? But now I'm more open....isit? Why am I feeling this way...why am I thinking of so many things, I know that all I can do is to surrender everything to God, I know that He is in control, He knows best, He understands best...He sees the situations better than I do...but why do I keep thinking about them...
I asked my papa the same question..."Papa, do you think that I think alot?".....His answer was "Yes, sometimes..."....I believe that he understands what I'm going through...but not totally I guess....only my Heavenly father knows....it's hard to talk about everything to a particular person...that's why I talk to God...but then why do I still feel of bottled up with emotions? It's like, for this situation, I should feel happy....yet for another situation I should feel worried and concern...and yet another situaiotn I should feel upset...
Okay Ho Jia Yee...stop it....you know that you have to surrender everything to God...if you don't, then it's going to be hard for God to use you, you'll just be too caught up with yourself...your conscious....Father I'm sorry that I feel think way...You understand me better than I myself do...I don't know why I'm going through all these...but I know that You are sovereign at all times...thank you for everything, for Your comfort, for Your strength...I pray that You'll bless all the people around me whom You love, whom I love too Father...protect them, heal their pain, bless them, overflow their cup, bring people to them who will love them and be an encouragement to them.
Amen
Sorry for rambling so much...I'll stop this right here.
