You have never ever stopped showing me what You want me to see...And I don't want it to stop

Yes it's exam time, but somehow I feel like my heart is not really into exams. I feel like I'm more concern with so many other issues that You had shown me. It's been a roller coaster ride and I'm still lost in thoughts. There must be a reason why...there must be something that I can do and learn from all these. I guess it's on my part to still trust You and to follow whatever You want me to do. Oh, sometimes I wish I understand why You want me to go through all these, I wish I could understand or see things the way You would see them. How or what would You do. Won't You teach me? Sometimes I feel like it's way beyond what I can handle. But I know that if it is from You, then it's through You and only through You that I can do it.

What isit that You want me to do before You'll let me go? Will You ever let me go? I wish You would tell me. But I know that most of the times You would rather show me than tell me. If I have to touch one more life here then I would do it. If it is for me to finish what I was set out to do here, then I would do it. If it is for me to learn something before going then I would do it. I would do it if You said so....but I can't do it alone. I need You. I know that You will help me. Don't give me something beyond what I can handle.

How will this situation turn out? I know that You are in control...that's the only comforting thing that I can hold on to. You love your child, You won't let any of them go. I commit this issue into Your hands.

(What will you do? Who will you listen to? What will choose in the end? )

I want to choose to listen to the Voice of Truth...Your Voice...Only Yours...

How do the lost get found?

You say that you are His child, but are you faithfully dependable?
How do the lost get found?
It all starts with you.

Hello my friendI remember when you were
So alive with your wide eyes
Then the light that you had in your heart was stolen
Now you say that it ain't worth stayin'
You wanna run but you're hesitatin'
I'm talkin' to me

Don't let your lights go down
Don't let your fire burn out'
Cause somewhere, somebody needs a reason to believe
Why don't you rise up now?
Don't be afraid to stand out
That's how the lost get found
The lost get found

So when you get the chance
Are you gonna take it?
There's a really big world at your fingertips
And you know you have the chance to change it
There's a girl on the streets, she's cryin'
There's a man whose faith is dyin'
Love is calling you

Don't let your lights go down
Don't let your fire burn out'
Cause somewhere, somebody needs a reason to believe
Why don't you rise up now?
Don't be afraid to stand out
That's how the lost get found
The lost get found

Why do we go with the flow
Or take an easier road?
Why are we playin' it safe?
Love came to show us the way
Love is a chance we should take
I'm movin' out of the way

Don't let your lights go down
Don't let your fire burn out'
Cause somewhere, somebody needs a reason to believe(Stand out)
Don't let your lights go down
Don't let your fire burn out(Stand out)
'Cause somewhere, somebody needs a reason to believe
Why don't you rise up now?
Don't be afraid to stand out
That's how the lost get found
The lost get found

So when you get the chance
Are you gonna take it?
There's a really big world at your fingertips
And you know you have the chance to change it

Britt Nicole

DEAR JESUS...

Bring me through this sem Lord. I pray for your strength and protection not just for me, but for my family, all my friends in school who are also very stressed up. May you watch over us forever :)

What would I say...What would You say...

If I can stop time to think, just think about what's happening around me what would I say...
If I have 1 more day to see all of you, what would I say...
If I have to start all over with just Him and my family with me, what would I say...
If all I know will go away, what would I say...
If I'm living this life for You, what would I say...
If You say "No", what would I say...
If You say "Don't worry, it'll be alright, just trust me", what would I say...
If I have to conquere my fears and do the things that I'm afraid of, what would I say...
If You tell me that You'll be forever by my side, what would I say...
If I can turn back time and live today again, what will I do? What will I say...
If I have to do this to help someone, what would I say...
If you come and ask me, what would I say...
If You tell me to wait, what would I say...
If this is my last day on before going back, what would I say...

If I tell You that I'm afraid of this, what would You say...
If I tell you that this is my last month to be with all of you, what would you say...
If I can't walk this journey all by my myself, what would You say...
If I tell You that I only want to please You, what would You say...
If I tell you I'm sorry, what would you say...
If I walk out of this, what would you say...
If I can see You everyday, what would You say to me...
If I'm already there, what will you show me? What will you say...
If I choose the other path, what would you say to me...
If I tell You "thank you", what would you say...

Understanding the condition of my heart...after so long.

My must confess, it took me quite a while to get the hang of my second year. I began this new year stuffed up with alot of emotions. Everything happened so fast that i realised i didn't have time to think, to reflect. But after 3 weeks, i think i managed to understand why it took me so long. I even have a list to tell you.

1) I couldn't bear to leave the children in the childcare. I was upset that they were upset. I thought it was going to be alright since they've seen so many people come and go. But somehow i think they'll still be upset whenever somebody leaves.

2) I was quite apprehensive about my theatre module. It's hard to juggle with a theatre mod as it requires a huge investment in both time and effort. Though i must say that the past experience had been enriching, it was still tough.

3) I heard the death of two people. One was my old friend in my secondary schhol, the other is a relative of a friend. I was shocked. The news did affect me in ways i can't explain. Sometimes i ask God why, why did this have to happen? But the answer lies with Him and all i can do is to trust whatever He's doing.

4)Anticipating the news about Aussie. Hmm it's hard to describe this one. But oh well. ya.

5) My hotmail crashed on me. It's a stupid thing to get upset. But it can be quite frustrating.

All these were stuck or i should say trapped inside of me. I began my semester like that. I couldn't tell why i felt so uncomfortable at first. I thought it was PMS. Haha but no. It was a big ball of feelings that tied me down, that made me feel so lost, helpless and frustrated. Well, i must say that after 3 weeks of school, i'm finally getting the hang of things. Taking one step at a time. That's the only step. Yup. It's going to be a hectic sem, but i know that with God beside me, I can go through it.

I have to thank all my little girls. They cheer my up in ways nobody could. It's fun to be with them, hearing them out, talking to them. I realise my joy comes when I make others happy, when i spend time with poeple i love. Thank you Jesus for all these wonderful people. I pray that you'll bless them ever so abundantly.

The Burden

I don't know why I'm feeling like this. This feeling has been lingering since school started. Lord, I want to have your peace. I want to trust you. I pray that this is the right thing for me. Help me to hold on to your promises. Your strength is my source of comfort, my source of hope.

I want to have no regrets.

My Saviour My God

I am not skilled to understand
What God has willed, what God has planned
I only know at His right hand
Stands One who is my Savior

I take Him at his word and deed
Christ died to save me this I read
And in my heart I find a need
For Him to be my Savior

That He would leave His place on high
And come for sinful man to die
You count it strange, but once did I
Before I knew my Savior

My Savior loves, my Savior lives
My Savior's always there for me
My God He was, my God He is
My God He's always gonna be

Yes, living, dying; let me bring
My strength, my solace from this spring
That He who lives to be my King
Once died to be my Savior

That He would leave his place on High
And come for sinful men to die
You count it strange so once that I
Before I knew my Savior

My Savior loves, My Savior lives
My Savior's always there for me
My God He was, My God He is, My God He's always gonna be

My Savior lives, My Savior loves
My Savior lives, My Savior loves

Aaron Shust