What if it is all just a dream? + Updates of me

I've often wondered if what I've always wanted, dreamed, hoped for are all just meaningless desires. Yes, I'm a girl who dreams alot, who wants to touch the world, but sometimes I feel like that is not for me. God did not plan it out for it to be this way. What if it is all just my own fantasy? My own selfish desires? Man! I wish I knew what's the plan for my life! Haha, ya I do get frustrated sometimes. But I want to be grateful to the fact that I have a God who cares and will lead me the right path. That's the only truth I can hold on to for now.

Okay, oh guess what. I'm so back into exercising again. Yup my love for running is back! Since now is the school holidays, I'm aiming to run at least twice a week (mon and thur). Hope it'll be successful. I remembered when I was in school, I used to love 2.4km run. Everytime there's a 2.4km run for PE I'll be very happy (ya while the rest of class will start scolding the teacher). Haha, I am the fastest girl in my class okay! haha nothing to be proud of (not like I've won $1 million or something).

Oh, the kids left only 1 week of school holidays :( yup then it's back to the normal study routine again. Well, what can I say, this is the life of a Singaporean! I wish to start school soon too. I feel like this holiday is so long. Which reminds me, I have not plan on what modules to take next semester. Sigh. You know, I've actually thought of taking another theatre module. I mean I love to act, but what stops me is the fact that I'm afraid that I cannot handle the stress. Theatre modules are usually quite heavy and having already taken 1 module in my first semester had already indicated to me that it is stressful and time consuming. Anyway, I still have to start planning soon. Psych is already enogh to kill my brain cells!

Haha. Okay that's all for this post. I'm just rambling.

"Dreams pass into the reality of action. From the actions stems the dream again; and this interdependence produces the highest form of living"
1 LIFE. LIVE IT OR BREAK IT!

Living in an innocent world?

To be as shrewed as snakes but yet at the same time, we have to be as innocent as doves.

Difficult to follow, but true. It reminded me of how I live my life. Am I somebody who thinks and acts wisely or am I somebody who thinks the world is just full of flowers and everybody is sweet and nice? I guess I'll be naive if I continue to hold on to the second option. Honestly, sometimes I have no idea why God put me to be in certain places, to go through certain situations, to meet certain people...If I can see Him face to face, I would ask Him 'why?'...why did you give me these? I agree that sometimes God works in ways I can never understand, all I can do is to continue to trust Him...that's all.

Coming to a different point, haha I must say that ever since I've started volunteering in a childcare centre I've really come to love children ALOT! Honestly, being with them is like in TellyTubby Land all over again. Yes, they od have their naughty moments, but I still see them as such innocent children. their mistakes are innocent. That's why we have to teach them to do the right thing. Haha. I loved it when they grab my hand and want me to show affection to them. I love it when they climb onto my lap with a storybook and asked me to read it with them. I love it when they pull me and ask me to play with them. I love it when they call me 'Jia Yee Jie Jie' But best of all, I love it when they look me in the eye and say, "Jie Jie, I love you". It will make my heart melt. Just melt infront of them, at that spot, at that moment. Aww...so cute! Seriously, I adore every single one of them.

Yeah, I do wish at times that life would be that sweet, that simple, that innocent. But it is not. In fact it never will be. What pastor said was true. We are living in a world of wolves and the only option we can choose is either to be like one of them, or to be different and choose to reach out to them instead. I want to be a blessing to anybody that I meet. It is not easy, but it's just my personlity, the way I want to live my life. Anyway, I must say that I have no regrets volunteering in Lakeside Before and After School Day Care. I will treasure every moment of my time there. Thank you God for placing me there to serve your children.

The end of year 1

okay, so I'm down with flu again. Got it on the first day Singapore confirmed its first H1N1 case. (Tuesday) haha don't worry, I do not have swine flu. Mine's just a common cold. I'm trying my best to recover as fast as I can because I want so much to go down to the childcare centre on monday. Hope that I will be better, really don't want to spread it to the little kids. POOR THING!

okay, what I want to say is...today's message is dedicated to a very special person. That person has answered my prayers, He never ever fail to surprise me, He remain faithful to me even though I've disobeyed Him or complained....He has taught me so many lessons and I want to say a big big thank you. You have always been with me, you have never left me, you never ever stop believeing in me and I want to never ever stop believing in you too.

Thank you for seeing me through my first year. I couldn't have done it without you.

Even if I didn't say it, I hope that you still can see it in my heart.

Lessons from Good Friday Event

My church had decided that this year's Good Friday was to be celebrated as a cell-based event. I must say that it was indeed a rather different and crazy experience for me. It was a time of mad rush, getting things organised in the midst of our busy schedules. I still remeber the Christmas party that we had last December. We had alot of time to plan for that one since it was during the holidays. But for this one it was so near our tests and exams, nonetheless God works in miracle ways and beyond what I can ever imagine. All in all, it was a great experience for me. Even though on the actual day itself I was busy fetching people from khatib mrt to the funciton room(which is quite a long walk away) and missing alot of the activities, I think that was God's role for me.

I've tried to invite friends for the campus party but got rejected. I've been trying to reach out to this girl but even up till Good Friday I was not successful. I couldn't understand why until on Friday itself. God knew that I'll be really busy on that actual day. Too busy to take care of Carina, and it'll be too rush for me to meet my friends for the campus event in the evening. God knew that it was too much for me to handle and hence did not want to stress me out. At first I was quite disappointed that I didn't managed to invite anybody, but now I'm thankful. Honestly, it's not the numbers that concerns God, it is my heart, my faith. Even though I couldn't bring friends to the event, but I keep on trusting God to change my heart, my attitude. Guess what, on Easter Sunday (just yesterday) on of my girl's mum invited their neighbour to church and asked me to look after their 2 adorable daughters during service. I know that God is working in their lives and I want to thank God for Si Hui's mum for reaching out to them.

You see, I finally understand now that I don't have to rely so much on my own strength, my strength can only do this much. But God's strength is so much more. And all I have to do is ot obey Him, trust Him and He will provide the desires of my heart. I always know this in my head, but never in my heart. But I think this is the lesson that God wants to teach me on this very Good Friday and Easter Sunday.

Thank You Jesus for being so patient with me. Thank you for this beautiful lesson, thank you for your willingness to mould me. I want to understand your heart. I want to see what you see, to feel what you are feeling.

Some things have to be believed to be seen.
Won't you believe today?

Thanksgiving

So many times, I've felt like I'm not good enough. So many times, I think I did not give you my best. So many times, I have all the wrong thoughts. So many times, I've tried to do things my own way and relied on my own strength.

But yet, all these time, you've remained faithful to me. You gave me strength when I'm weak. You gave me hope when I feel that all is hopeless. You believed in me even though I did not believe in myself. You loved me even though I've disobeyed you.

You are amazing. You are awesome.
And I want to learn to be like you more and more like you each day...If only you would help me to...

Follow your honest convictions, and stay strong
The only journey is the journey within

Dying together is what that makes it all bearable

My lecturer gave a report on monday and we have to complete it by tomorrow 6pm. I tell you it's crazy especially when there are quite alot of research and analysing needed. We were working on the report the whole day today. Started at 10am with my 4 WONDERFUL and EXCELLENT groupmates and we didn't leave the school till 11pm. haha. Yes you can see now how crazy we can be. There were so many things thay we were unsure of, so many issues to clarify. We kept on trying to figure out how to analyse the graphs, how to draw the links and make good inferences. Trust me, it's tough!

We didn't eat dinner. Had some snacks, but not a full meal. Towards 10pm, we were starting to get high (guessed we were all too tired). But you know what, through it all, it was worth it. It was worth it to spend the whole day with my project groupmates as they are really the best project mates that I can ever find. We worked hard together, try to figure things out together, everybody is just so helpful to each other. Always encouraging, always so accomodating and patient. I love them. Not only did we joke alot, but we also shared with each other our own personal stories and that's what keeps us so united.

Well, I really want to thank God for this great bunch of people (the 3 of them). Because of them, we've managed to complete our project on time. It doesn't matter even if I can't go home the entire night. The time we spent together....It was all worth it. haha

lay kuan, Joey, Yiling.....THANK YOU!

Quote of the day: "A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for."
Sometimes you just need to get out of your comfort zone and find your purpose.

Making the right decision

Have you ever had a feeling where you felt abit uncomfortable with a person but yet choose to accept and help the person? Well, I was in that shoes recently. Let's call this friend of mine A (just to maintain privacy). It's not that I am scared or angry with A. It's just that, even though I knew A as a friend, yet the last time we spoke, A was upset over something and I didn't exactly knew how to respond. We didn't talk alot after that for quite a while.

Well, recently A approached me and asked me if we could do an assignment together(trust me, it is really tough and I still do not have the faintest idea on how to start). At first I was a little afraid and to tell you the truth, I hesitated a bit, just abit. I was afraid that our friendship will get even more weird and I wanted to avoid it altogether. Not that we have argued or something, but just that we havn't spoken to each other for a while and all of the sudden, I was asked to work together, as a team.

Guess what, I said okay in the end. I wanted so much to put my feelings aside and just trust God that everything will turn out fine. That our discussion together will be fun, meaningful and productive. By now you guys would have guessed that our discussion was over and I'm about to tell you how it went. You are right. It was fantastic! We had such a fun time and I'm very sure both of us ended up taking our friendship one step higher :) Though the assignment was tough, yet we joked, laugh and managed to get a headstart. To me that's one of the best feeling I've ever had. I know now that sometimes it is wise to give yourself and your friend a chance to make things right again. If only you'll put your prejudice, your fears, your negative thoughts all aside and choose to take that step of faith. It's not an easy decision to make, but once you've come out victorious, you'll know that it was all worth it. But if it did not turn out the way you wanted it to be, at least you know that you've given yourself and your friend a chance and you'll definitely have no regrets.

However, I believe that if you really believe in something, then go all out to make that believe come true. It's possible so long as you have the right attitude. But that's not the hard part. The hardest part is to take that first step to make that decision to give the situation another chance. That's the crossroad and you have to decide.

You choose.

Quote of the day:
Mind is all that counts. You can be whatever you make up your mind to be.
Nothing is more difficult, and therefore more precious, than to be able to decide.

When your values are clear to you, making decisions becomes easier.